Relax, it was fine - I was over 1000km from the Syrian border. I did post something about how I was gonna be away for two weeks so expect no usual idiotic dribbling and ranting from me but then I took it down... because burglars. I know the only people in my town that know about this blog are close friends, but they're also shifty bastards and cannot be trusted to not rob me. Welcome to the North.
I will do an actual post about my holiday in Turkey at some point because it was a confusing mix of wonderful and bizarre but I just wanted to do a short 'WHAT UP BITCHES! I'M BAAAAACK' post to get me back on the rhino (fuck horses). However, to apologise for being so lame I figured you deserve a little somethin' somethin' so here's a very short holiday video. We travelled to the deepest, darkest corner of Europe/slash/Asia and we bring you back the answer to the question that has long since been on everybody's lips. That question, as we all know, being: Is the Macerena still a thing? It turns out, in Turkey, it totally is. And here is proof... poorly filmed, dark and drunken proof:
"I KNOW THE WORDS!"
Finally, I was inspired by Eric's recent Shit Denise Says post so I'm going to finish by ratting on my boyfriend because last night was a classic 'What the hell is wrong with you' moment. I don't know if anyone noticed but the moon was a funky shade of yellow. John, seemingly thrilled by this, rushed in to the living room where I was trying to work (read: piss about on Facebook, same-same) and exclaimed, "JADE! Look at the moon! It's all yellow!" When I went over to the window to see what the crazy bastard was yelling about I could see that it was, in fact, yellow. Hmm. John then said, "It thinks it's the sun!" (WHAT?) Then shouted, "YOU'RE NOT THE SUN, YOU STUPID MOON!!!" Yes, my actual boyfriend shouted at the actual moon last night... for being stupid.
On that note, I bid you farewell for now (hopefully not another month).